So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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