Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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