it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
