i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
