the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize