i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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