I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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