I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
