It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
what day is it and did you see me today?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
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