Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
