I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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