you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
