hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
