Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize