Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
