god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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