Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
MIDGETS
????
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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