Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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