she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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