oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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