is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
