woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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