I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.