Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.