u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.