Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dick very happy bro