I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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