brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.