the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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