Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
