my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize