i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
