so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
