Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize