If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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