Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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