He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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