I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
