You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
