it wasn't lemon gatorade
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
