I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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