So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
