you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
