I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
