how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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