so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
