I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the condom got lost in my hair
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
