you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize