I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
