I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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