Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
