I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
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