does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
