We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
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I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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