bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
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please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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