I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
