Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
