Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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