dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
