so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
