so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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