I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
